too many loses

juditha · February 25th, 2009, 10:14 PM

i had a rough year last year. i lost 4 close people in my life. two of them was my grandfather and his brother, which died 2 days apart of each other. back to back furneral, which was devasting. but, i dealt with their lose pretty good, for they lived a long life and didn't have to suffer anymore. plus, i got to say my good-byes.

then, two weeks after their passings, i lost a close friend and three others that i went to school with, in a terrible accident. my friend was only 26, who was going to go back to school to become a priest. i'm still having a hard time dealing with his death. although i saw him laying there in a coffin and went to his furneral, i still can't believe he's gone.

a month after i got married, my father past unsuspectedly. he had a history of heart problems, but seemed healthy. he and my mom got back a week before from their vacation and was at a play the night before with some friends. it was when he was getting ready to go to morining mass that he had a massive heartattack. when i found out i just couldn't believe it, for the day before i was talking to him on the phone and he sounded great. when i call my mom now, i'm always wishing he's going to answer, but he doesn't. i have a hard time looking at my wedding pictures, for that was the last time i saw him alive. i'm just glad he was there to marry me off.

after my grandfather's passing, i was thinking of going to church regulary on sundays. but after the death of my friend and father i can't even sit through one mass without breaking down in tears. for my friend was the organist at the chuch of my hometown and my dad was an usher. so, i have a hard time not seeing my dad or hearing my friend play. just when i'm about to reach out to god again he takes people away from me. i just don't know how i'm going to get through this one. for i don't like to talk to people about my feelings, for i feel like i'm a burden. and i'm afraid to go to a doctor about it, for i know they will try to stick me on meds which i'm against. i try to exercise or to do something, but i just don't have the motivation.

thank you for listening

Muffie · January 19th, 2010, 11:48 PM

You are definitely depressed in my opinion. I am not sure why you are so opposed to medication if you haven't tried anything. If it doesn't work, you don't need to take it, but if it helps you why wouldn't you at least try something. I think people see medication as a weakness, but it is my belief that if something helps, it is a positive. Please reconsider and see a doctor. You have been through a lot and your depression could worsen.

February 25th, 2009, 10:14 PM	#1
juditha Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1	too many loses i had a rough year last year. i lost 4 close people in my life. two of them was my grandfather and his brother, which died 2 days apart of each other. back to back furneral, which was devasting. but, i dealt with their lose pretty good, for they lived a long life and didn't have to suffer anymore. plus, i got to say my good-byes. then, two weeks after their passings, i lost a close friend and three others that i went to school with, in a terrible accident. my friend was only 26, who was going to go back to school to become a priest. i'm still having a hard time dealing with his death. although i saw him laying there in a coffin and went to his furneral, i still can't believe he's gone. a month after i got married, my father past unsuspectedly. he had a history of heart problems, but seemed healthy. he and my mom got back a week before from their vacation and was at a play the night before with some friends. it was when he was getting ready to go to morining mass that he had a massive heartattack. when i found out i just couldn't believe it, for the day before i was talking to him on the phone and he sounded great. when i call my mom now, i'm always wishing he's going to answer, but he doesn't. i have a hard time looking at my wedding pictures, for that was the last time i saw him alive. i'm just glad he was there to marry me off. after my grandfather's passing, i was thinking of going to church regulary on sundays. but after the death of my friend and father i can't even sit through one mass without breaking down in tears. for my friend was the organist at the chuch of my hometown and my dad was an usher. so, i have a hard time not seeing my dad or hearing my friend play. just when i'm about to reach out to god again he takes people away from me. i just don't know how i'm going to get through this one. for i don't like to talk to people about my feelings, for i feel like i'm a burden. and i'm afraid to go to a doctor about it, for i know they will try to stick me on meds which i'm against. i try to exercise or to do something, but i just don't have the motivation. thank you for listening

January 19th, 2010, 11:48 PM	#2
Muffie Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1	You are definitely depressed in my opinion. I am not sure why you are so opposed to medication if you haven't tried anything. If it doesn't work, you don't need to take it, but if it helps you why wouldn't you at least try something. I think people see medication as a weakness, but it is my belief that if something helps, it is a positive. Please reconsider and see a doctor. You have been through a lot and your depression could worsen.